Egyptian Cinema’s Most Unhinged Situationships

Let’s all agree: this film would have been a maximum of six minutes long if Youssef and Alya had communication skills beyond those of a child.

Youssef and Alya are high school sweethearts who drift apart. Years later, they bump into each other by coincidence and, despite every sign that the relationship is doomed before it even begins — including the minor issue of Alya having a fiancé — they decide to meet on the same date every year.

Khalaf is a straight-A student who earns a scholarship to AUC. Despite the questionable mustard-yellow suit he wears on his first day and his even more questionable ‘dance moves’, Seyada — another straight-A student — somehow likes him. Instead of thanking God and appreciating Seyada for her poor eyesight, he fumbles her and pursues one of Egyptian cinema’s most embarrassing situationships with their colleague Abla. Proof that even nerdy boys can be dumb.

Hazem is your typical emotionally immature man. He does everything right, plays it by the book and love-bombs Yasmeen until she finally gives him a chance. Then, despite knowing exactly where this is heading, he wakes up one day and decides he’s “not ready.”

Abdallah is a single man searching for his Mrs. Perfect while still clinging to a past relationship. At the same time, he emotionally strings along his best friend, Nadeen, despite knowing full well that she has feelings for him.

Despite what our younger selves may have believed, 'Taymour w Shafika' is not really a romantic film. But it is, in fact, a film about love — just an incredibly destructive and toxic version of it.

Shafika is Egypt’s youngest minister, while Taymour is her security guard, childhood sweetheart and an aggressively controlling man. When he audaciously asks her to step down from her position and she refuses, their relationship devolves into a weird, deeply uncomfortable friendship.

Dr. Moheeb is a therapist and a nosey neighbour who secretly becomes the therapist of all the Abu Hagar sisters. Ignoring just about every ethical rule in the book, he somehow ends up developing feelings for all of them…